A couple weeks back I was given the assignment to teach about the idea that life is short.
Now I (and the rest of our church community) have been smacked in the face with this reality as we mourn the loss of Nati Carter. (Incidentally, three other families at Crossroads have also suffered losses in a similar time frame. We offer our condolences and prayers to the Bies, Heller and Smith families.)
The Carters are some of my best friends and I've spent more time crying in the last couple of days than I ever have as an adult. Many of you have also been touched by Bryan and Erika's love or friendship- or at the very least feel a deep sense of compassion for their loss.
So, we're all mourning, processing, shaking our heads at the senselessness, and smiling sad smiles at the outpourings of love, support and community.
Just wanted to create a little space here for us to process. Use the comments feature to share your thoughts, questions or prayers. As possible, let's try to avoid the cliches which may or may not be true (Ex. God must have had other plans for her.)
These past few days I'm finding that it is better not to have any words than to have empty ones.
12 comments:
Let me start the commentary with a simple "I love you." To everyone in my life, be it at Crossroads or not. I don't ever want the people I do life with to not know, that I truly, deeply, love you. Thank you Fred.
I do not know Bryan and Erika well but have worked with little Nati in the nursery almost weekly. She was a beautiful little girl and will be missed by all who she touched. I also want to add how wonderful it is to be part of a community that grieves as a whole when one part grieves and rejoices as a whole when one part rejoices. I have never been part of a community like this and for the first time I truly feel at home.
It has been a while since I have felt this level of deep sadness and since of desolation. Natalie's death is too painful to put in words.
Yet,in the midst of this awful trajedy I have witnessed the compassion of a community that has come together to mourn and weep along with Bryan, Erika, Brady and their extended family.
I am so thankful to be part of a spiritual community that is not afraid to walk and share with those who are experiencing deep pain, loss, and suffering.
Maybe that is why Jesus said, "blessed are those who mourn"
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In the celebration service for Nati today, the hope that is in Jesus was evident. The congregation singing "Blessed be the Name" was very moving. Seeing people choose to praise God while tears of sadness and pain run down their faces truly brings that song alive in a way that a normal weekend service never could. It illustrated a treasure that the world cannot hope to match.
Throughout the service I was praying very hard for one non-believer I know who was sitting a few rows in front of me. I prayed that the seeds sown during this time might find a softer heart to take root in than might normally be there.
Brian and Erika, my prayers will continue to be with you.
I too attended the service today. I don't know the family personally, but wanted to show support in numbers. I've never felt such sadness for people I've never even met. But as others mentioned, it shows the great community we have at Crossroads.
I'm going to throw out something else that has been on my mind all day. Glen said during the service "people will say this is God's will, but it's not, God permits it, but God's will is for people to live in eternity" (I hope I got that fairly close) I can't seem to grasp this concept. As many, I have so many why? questions, with very few answers. So I wanted to put that out there to see if others had thoughts or ideas.
My prayer for the family is peace, even if its just a few moments a day.
I've never been as impressed with anyone as I have been with Bryan and Erika this week.
When I contrast the scene at the hospital on Saturday night with the celebration service yesterday, it floors me. Obviously all of the pain and loss is still there, but Bryan and Erika have found the strength to celebrate Natalie's life instead of retreating into their own grief, like Glen said.
I keep asking myself if I would have that kind of strength in their place. I'm really, genuinely inspired by their hope and their faith.
I want to thank everyone who has responded so far for sharing.
Anonymous mentioned the many questions that race through our heads at times like these.
Why don't we go ahead and put them out there.
Feel free to post the kinds of questions you are wrestling with and the answers (if any) you are getting.
I tried to leave this once so if it repeats, I apologize.
I want to start by saying that I am keeping Bryan, Erika, and Brady in my prayers. I offer a huge hug to all of them. Words cannot help them and I want to fill a page with my sorrow, compassion and love for them and all of the people who were touched by Natalie.
Fred, I will take you up on your invitaion to explore something. I was talking with a friend a couple of days ago. We were discussing how people try to console the grieving with empty words and phrases such as, "They are in a better place." Or "It just wasn't meant to be." And worse, "God needed another angel." His next words stopped me. He said, "God had no part in this." He left shortly after and I kept thinking about that statement. I have looked at tragedies like this as God's doing. It was our time, or God called us home, or our number was up. I assumed that God orchestrated it all. With that comment, I was challenged to think a little differently. With further thought, I realized (not that I didn't already know, but just hadn't applied it to this kind of happening) that there are two forces that we deal with each day. God and satan. Satan is alive and well out there. Now I know that I certainly don't have all the answers but I find myself leaning more to this being a work of Satan rather than God. God didn't let this happen, Satan just took a beautiful child from a warm and loving home. Satan will attack us from any vunerable place he can get a foot in. I have chosen to blame Satan for this, not God.
Anonymous, I've always been taught that not everything is of God, but that God can use everything. Satan gets away with a lot, but God can use his worst acts against him. I think God positions himself in the healing side of it. To prove that no matter how broken Satan may make you feel, God (and only God)can heal the deepest of wounds. I'm sure Satan believes that we will look at this wonderful Godly family and think "well if God didn't protect them I don't stand a chance".
But I say look at the other side of things, would Bryan and Erika have the strength to celebrate Nati's life if it wasn't for God? Would they have the comfort of knowing that no matter how she was stolen from them she is still with a perfect father?
God is not always in the cause, but he is deffinately in the effect. And I find comfort in that.
Anonymous: When God called all the angels to Him in the beginning of the Book of Job to report, Satan was among them. That is, Satan is under God's control. I have to believe in God's absolute sovereignty because my mind is not like His. I cannot always figure out what's right or wrong, why this happens or this doesn't. That's where my faith is tested and I become humbled. It's a chance to love Him like a child, not like a scientist. It's a realization that I'm NOT in control and, to quote mrs. needham's favorite lady, "that's a good thing". Are there any corrections for me?
I find it very difficult to have these type of conversations in the midst of grieving families and friends - that's just ME. Some folks need answers others need comfort and others need silence, time and NO theology. I'm sure we're all different.
At other times I'm all ready for this very type of conversation to understand more about who God is and how He would have us to understand Him and live our lives in response to His perfect nature and a sinful world.
God is LOVE. He created a PERFECT world. When sin/Satan entered the world death followed. God who is love did not want death or want it to be a part of his eternal plan and thus enters JESUS. As through one man, Adam there came sin and death, thus through one man, JESUS, comes LIFE!
We live in an imperfect world where the forces of good and evil are at war. But, we are PROMISED that one day JESUS - LIFE will come again. We've read the end of the book! We win!!
We have to endure an imperfect, sinful world. The wonderful part is life IS short. Jesus offers us an ETERNAL pain free life. God IS eternal.
I don't understand the WHY. I wish circumstances could be soooooooo very different for soooooooooo many people. I pray we all support and help one another live for eternity and take as many others with us as we possibly can.
Mrs. White, sorry to trespass. There are tools of evil, absolutely. Well put comment, thanks for your discipline and growing me...
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