Where Ever We Find Ourselves

There are two things that strike me about Glen’s message last week.

The first is how easily some of us choose to flee difficulty without thinking though the consequences. Some of us find ourselves facing marital difficulty and our first desire is to get out. We think it will be better and easier. I often sit with people who are contemplating this reality. I try to get them to think down that path a while. One thing that every divorced or blended family will tell you is that there is never a major holiday that doesn’t bear some scar of the broken family. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, etc. there is the tension about who will be where when. That’s life long, that’s a big deal.

The other thing that struck me is no matter what life hands us or that we create, it’s in our best interest to make the best of our circumstance; to talk out issues, to agree to work together, to resolve and not suppress issues. My wife and I had a long but good talk about an issue we are facing. I wouldn’t put it on the top of the fun to do things list but I was grateful for her willingness to broach it with me and her grace to listen.

Where ever you are in life, what ever life has handed you, embrace it and live up!

Griff

Getting It Right

I have to be honest and it probably won’t surprise any of you but I felt myself well up with emotion several times on Sunday during Glen’s message. When I heard the things that wives were saying about their husbands who were getting it right, something touched me deep inside.

I know, as a man, respect is a huge motivator. When I get anything right and my wife notices and then verbalizes it back to me; WOW! You would have thought I just got the Nobel Peace Prize. I also think as men that is what we are all looking for; to be valued and respected. The reality is we end up looking for it in different places. If we don’t find it at home, or we are too wounded to experience it at home, or we have seen other role models seek it in different ways it can lead to fruitless and destructive searches.

I was appreciative of the encouragement and challenge to “get it right” as a Dad. A word of advice for kids or wives who are reading this: Dad’s need your respect. They live by it and for it. They thrive on it. I don’t know if you have a good or bad relationship with your dad but find something you do and can respect about him and let him know. Write a note, tell him face to face, or get a tattoo; just make sure he knows you respect him. If you do it often enough you will see a new life arise inside him. Before you know it there will be even more you respect about him.

Griff

Relationally Challenged Yet?

It’s been a few weeks since I have “reflected” on the weekend teaching, sorry for my absence.

One thing that has been challenging about this series is that every week we are missing a group of people: dating/married/single/older/younger/ etc. What has surprised me though, is how personally challenged I (and I think everyone else) have been anyway, even when it isn’t directed at me.

Our lives touch and intersect all the time. We really don’t live in a vacuum. It’s really not God’s intention that we do. Every week I am taught in a very direct or indirect way something about myself. I am also given pause for reflection of other people’s relational situations.

If anyone wants to share their direct or indirect learning, feel free.

I want to include a book that I wanted to share the week I taught on dating. It’s simply called “Boundaries in Dating.” I think it will be helpful if that is your world right now. I also want to say that it is in a series of “Boundaries” books that touch just about everyone’s life. They have Boundaries in Marriage, Boundaries with Your Kids, they even have Boundaries with Pets. Just kidding about that one, I think it’s coming out next year.

Seriously, if you have a relational issue you might want to check out one of the corresponding boundary books, or anything by the authors Cloud and Townsend.

I’ll blog at you next week. I promise.

Griff

Remembering Moms

I had this story sent to me and thought it was thought provoking following Mother's Day.

After many long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to spring and BBQ season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this outdoor cooking ritual, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events is put into motion:
Routine:
1. The woman buys the food.
2. The woman makes a salad, prepares vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - drink in hand.
Here comes the important part:
4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL More routine:
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bringanother drink while he deals with the situation.
Important again:
7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine:
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

Guys, when it's true it's best to just laugh with them.

Griff

Parenting Parents

This issue of parenting our parents was deeply personal for some of us. For others it is definately something we need to be thinking about and possibly working on to prepare for the future. Glen passed on these obesrvations and suggestions:

• It is important that the family works together on what is best for the aging parents. This is not a time for sibling rivalry or turf wars. The issue is what is best for the aging parent.


• Support is a group effort. It may not take a village, but it does take a community. Prayers and questions of concern mean so much.


• Additional tasks given by family members far away create great frustration because most of those providing the care are already overwhelmed. If you cannot do it yourself, don’t suggest it.

Carol Abaya at http://www.sandwichgeneration.com/ is a good resource for parenting your parents.

God’s promise has great meaning as we age. It would be a good one to memorize or place in prominent location as a reminder. Isaiah 46:4 (God’s Word Translation) Even when you're old, I'll take care of you. Even when your hair turns gray, I'll support you. I made you and will continue to care for you. I'll support you and save you.

Griff

Spiritually Green?

I hate to admit this about myself but I have been pretty skeptical and critical when it comes to environmental issues. I have probably been sort of a jerk about the issue at times (just ask my wife). Honestly, I just didn't care that much about it. If it was super easy to do something I would but if it took any effort on my part I didn't care enough to act.

I am not sure what you thought about Matthew Sleeth's story but personally I was challenged in a new way. I have never thought about the environment in light of the two greatest commandments. How can I love God more and how can I show my neighbor love. Appreciating and caring for the environment from that perspective makes so much more sense and gives me motivation I have never had before.

I really appreciated how Matthew the issue a spiritual one and kept it from being political at the same time. I appreciate that he is willing to live into what he believes in ways that are practical and simple.

I know we are making some changes in our household. I hope you are in yours. In the end it is a personal issue that has profound effects on the world around you. I hope you let those questions lead you. Will this show love for God (and what he has given me), and will this show love for my neighbor (and future generations).

So what kinds of things have you decided to do?

Why Win, If You Can Dance?

The old saying goes, “Win a soul for Jesus.” Paul used that type of language several times in the writing of scripture but I’m not sure it means the quite the same thing people do today. I think it feels a lot different now than it did then. Someone said, “If you win me for Jesus that feels like I lose.”

We know that is not the truth at all but it’s interesting that someone would feel that way. What is it about someone’s evangelistic approach that would make someone feel like they lose if they agree? Maybe it’s what they say, but I have a feeling it’s about more of how they say it.

Brian McLaren described a different way we might approach sharing the message of Jesus. He said that the “Gospel” (the good news) of Jesus is like beautiful music to those that know it. It picks up our spirit and carries us along in the dance of life. Why not invite others to dance with us, to hear and understand the music for their lives. Sure, some toes might occasionally be stepped on in the process but who needs to win and lose when instead we can learn to dance together.

Don’t look at your “non-church-going” friends as projects, look at them as dance partners.

Griff

Intellectual Christianity

What do we have to know to be a genuine Christ follower? What must we do or what must we experience? How do we know if we are or not?

There are many people who know about Jesus, about Christianity, about the bible. Does that mean they are Christ followers? It’s interesting that some of the most knowledgeable people in Jesus day, some of the most righteous by the standards of the law (the spiritual rule book) seemed to be the furthest from what Jesus was trying to promote and teach. They didn’t like him and he was quite critical of their brand of spirituality.

Here’s the irony. Jesus seemed to have no problem connecting with the “less-than-righteous.” There seemed to be a quick connect with what he was teaching and the brand of spirituality that he was selling. How was it that people who had devoted their whole lives to God could get it so wrong and those who lived opposed to God could get it so quickly.

I like what author John Ortberg said, “The righteous were more damaged by their righteousness than the sinners were by their sin.”

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Griff

Quitting Religion

We started a series last week that could be considered controversial. What do we mean by “Quitting Church?” We have always said Christianity is more than just going to church. That’s not controversial. So what do we mean my quitting church? We mean to quit playing church, to realize it’s about a lot more than wearing a name and attending a service. At the heart of it all, Christianity has nothing to do with “religion.” Check out a quote by John Fischer from an article called Bowing to the coffee god.

“Religion is ritual, habit, doing certain things to get certain results, and pleasing the acceptable god by bowing, scraping and doing all the necessary penance required by that god to please Him/Her/it. I have been known to bow and scrape to the coffee god, but thankfully, not the real God, because the real God does not require this.”

Do you catch his drift? What you do think?

Griff

Believe

I hope you had a good Easter. More than that I hope you had a thoughtful Easter. We always harp that we don’t focus enough at Christmas time but at least we are engaged in Christmas. There is not the same hoop-la at Easter so it seems to come and go – fast!

I know I intended to sit and watch “The Passion” again this year, but with little kids and all the hectic things of life it didn’t get done. It was good to be able to sit and think about why we believe and what a difference it makes in our life when we “live into” that belief.

We look at people in scripture and history and see the differences it made in their life when they went from disbelief to belief. It is encouraging and even exciting to see what God does in other peoples life but what about yours? What difference has believing made in your life? Are you living into that belief or is it a separate part of who you are? What could living into your belief bring to your life?

Stop and think about your faith and belief.

What has it brought? What more could it bring?

Happy "post" Easter

Griff

Discipline of Celebration?or Celebration of Discipline?

It really is a wierd to have both words in a phrase.

As I sat and listened to Glen's message on Sunday I was struck by how much sense it really makes.

In one way we need to remember (discipline ourselves) to realize how much we have to celebrate in Christ. How HUGE a difference he makes in our life no matter what we are going through or what trial we are facing. His victory that we will celebrate this Sunday should bring perspective every day we live.

In another way all together, we need to see the celebration that comes out of being like Jesus, imitating who he is and how he lived through the power of his Spirit living within us. Glen made the statement "Celebration without regrets." Oh how close to home and how true that is for us. What else in life can bring such sweet celebration as leaning into and learning through his Spirit how to live more like him?

It's only through Jesus we can do that.

What does a life of true "regret-less" celebration look like for you? How are you trying to live into that? What celebration has "imitating" Jesus brought to your life?

Griff

Into the Wild of Simplicity

As I listened to Glen’s message on Sunday I couldn’t help but think about a movie my wife and I watched that week called, “Into the Wild”. We watched the movie because my wife and a friend had read the book and were fascinated by it. After graduating from Emory University in 1992, top student and athlete Christopher McCandless (Emile Hirsch in the movie) abandons his possessions, gave his entire $24,000 savings to charity and hitchhiked to Alaska to live in the wilderness. Some called him a hero and some called him a selfish idiot.

I was fascinated by this story because I saw that he was searching for something other than what the world, and in particular materialistic America, had to offer him. The story depicts him as disgusted by his parents pursuit of the American dream and how neglected he was because of their fierce pursuit of wealth.

I would recommend the movie for the sake of the message (be careful there is some nudity and language) and I’m sure my wife would recommend the book. I think the story is tragic because there are so many of us that know what he was looking for but couldn’t seem to find. Maybe it’s because many of us don’t live it out very well. He came across some Christians in his journey but they couldn’t or didn’t compel him to understand the beauty and freedom of a life TRULY GIVEN to God. This, I think, is the definition of what simplicity really is: To fully live for God. Anything else is what Glen described as duplicity.

How duplicitous are we, really? It is such a tough thing to measure. We of course need things and other relationships and pursuits in life to function. So, how do we know if we are living these things out in a way that honors a simple life lived for God or a duplicitous life that is really for our pursuits and we’ve allowed God to be a part? There is a HUGE difference in between the two.

I am glad we chose to discuss this spiritual practice of simplicity. I am convicted it is one we all need to practice more diligently. If we do, we will know what we are truly living for and be free of the things that ensnare us. These things subtly bring the bondage and complexity of duplicity to our lives. Within such bondage we can’t fully live for and experience God in our lives.

Your thoughts?

Griff

Weekend Service Prayer

Several of you have asked about the prayer we used this weekend. Here it is, I hope it moves you and convicts you in ways that encourage you to imitate Jesus.

-From A Diary of Private Prayer by John Baillie

Holy God, I grieve and lament before thee that I am still so prone to sin and so little inclined to obedience:
So much attached to the pleasure of sense, so negligent of things spiritual:
So prompt to gratify my body, so slow to nourish my soul:
So greedy for present delight, so indifferent to lasting blessedness:
So fond of idleness, so indisposed for labor:
So soon at play, so late at prayer:
So brisk in the service of self, so slack in the service of others:
So eager to get, so reluctant to give:
So lofty in my profession, so low in my practice:
So full of good intentions, so backward to fulfill them:
So severe with my neighbors, so indulgent with myself:
So eager to find fault, so resentful at being found fault with:
So little able for great tasks, so discontented with small ones;
So weak in adversity, so swollen and self-satisfied in prosperity:
So helpless apart form thee, and yet so little willing to be bound to thee.

O merciful heart of God, grant me yet again thy forgiveness. Hear my sorrowful tale and in thy great mercy blot it out from the book of thy remembrance. Give me faith so to lay hold of thine own holiness and so to rejoice in the righteousness of Christ my Savior that, resting on his merits rather than on my own, I may more and more become conformed to his likeness, my will becoming one with his in obedience to thine. All this I ask for his holy name’s sake. Amen.

Keep leaning into Jesus,

Griff

Constant Connection & Transformation

Is prayer really constant connection with God? Is prayer like being able to text God? Can I carry a piece of glass and remember to be in communication with God?

This might be a really different way to think about prayer but maybe that’s exactly what we need. We are talking about the need to “Imitate” Jesus in order to experience the transformation we so desperately long for. What about you? How transformed have you been in your journey with God? I’d like to make a bet. I bet you, the transformation was tied to times spent in prayer. Am I right? If you can’t say you’ve experienced any real transformation I’d also bet you’ve never taken prayer seriously as a way of “constant connection” with God. Am I right?

It’s really not that I am that smart. (I know I don’t have to convince you of this.) I think it’s a simple thing that we fail to live into. Jesus and the followers of Jesus in scripture were SERIOUS pray-ers. God showed up and did some pretty huge, miraculous, transformational things. Prayer that calls out to God and asks for His will to happen by people with open and surrendered hearts is a crazy thing. Go ahead. I DARE YOU! Start constant connection and ask for His will. When you get an idea of what that is, pray like mad for it in faith and then stand back and be amazed at what He does.

Any one have a story they’d like to share. I prayed once for six months that God would humble me. (I know that was stupid, but not really.) He answered it for 18 months with 3 tough blows to my ego and identity. That set me up for 18 months of peace and prosperity to be followed by another 2 years of extreme humbling and difficulty. Now again, I am experiencing some great peace. God, you can stop answering that prayer at least for now. The cool thing is the greatest transformation in my life came in those difficult and humbling times. Okay, enough about me.

Let’s hear your constant connection transformation stories.

Silence Revisited

Several of you have asked about the text on the video during our "Silence and Solitude Experiment" a couple weeks ago. Go ahead and use this as a time of silence and let me know what happens. Shhh...

Why is silence so hard to deal with?

183 million people are regularly exposed to noise levels labeled as excessive by the Environmental Protection Agency.

Do you have a cell phone? A pager? Voice-mail?

Do you have a cell phone with voice-mail and e-mail?

Do you have a TV? More than 1 TV?

Do you have a radio on all day? On at work, in the car, at home?

Is there such a thing as visual noise?

Do you wish there were more billboards along the roads you drive?

Do we have enough strip malls yet?

Do you feel like God is distant?

Do you wish God’s voice would be louder in your life?

Is there a connection between the amount of noise in our lives and our inability to hear God?

SUV’s and minivans now come with separate CD and DVD systems for the backseats.

You can buy wired clothing now. Coats and jackets equipped with cell phones and MP3 players.

Try this.

Make yourself comfortable in your chair and begin breathing slowly as you read.

Then Moses and the priests, who are Levites, said to all Israel, “Be silent, Oh Israel, and listen!” _Deuteronomy 27:9

Search your hearts and be silent. _Pslams 4:4

But the Lord is in His holy temple: Let all the earth be silent before Him.
_Habakkuk 2:20

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.
_Jesus in Matthew 11

If I am not still, and if I don’t listen, how is Jesus going to give me rest?

Have you spent the same amount of time worrying and talking about your difficult, confusing situations as you have spent in silence, listening to what God might have to say?

Why is talking so much easier than listening?

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. _Luke 5:16

These were regular disciplines Jesus had. Silence. Solitude.

When was the last time you were in a solitary place?

What is it about silence that is so difficult?

Why is it easier to surround myself with noise and keep moving than to stop, be silent and listen?

How much noise do I voluntarily subject myself to?

Does my schedule, my time, my life look like that of a person who wants to hear God’s voice?

Maybe the healing and guidance we desperately need is not going to come from one more meeting or therapy session or sermon or self-help book but from simply listening for the voice of God.

Do you really believe that God’s voice is more interesting than the voices around you?

Is it possible that you have been searching for God in the winds, the earthquakes, and fires and He is waiting to speak to you in the silence? Silence.

Quiet: A Love / Hate Relationship

I used to really hate to sit in silence, to be alone. I don’t think it was fear as much as it just wasn’t my nature. I don’t hate it anymore because I now understand its benefits and its power. I still don’t ever look forward to it. I always love it though when it’s over. Not because it’s over, but because it’s always good.

It’s often good for different reasons.

Sometimes it’s just because I was quiet and thoughtful.

Sometimes it’s because I accomplished something that was a healthy balance to my normal pace.

Sometimes I hear the voice of God. I see something clearly for the first time. I recognize something about myself. Sometimes it’s something good. Sometimes it’s something ugly that I see needs to change. The cool part is when I am quiet and that happens, I’m already with the One whose help I need. So I ask and know that I am heard.

You may hate being quiet and alone but you ought to give it a try. If you have, tell me what happened.

I know there are those out there that actually REALLY look forward to being quiet and alone. I wonder what happens in that time for you.

Griff

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - The Word in the Heart

A friend sent me this quote. I think it is a great followup to this weekend.

"I do not treasure God's promise in my understanding but in my heart. It is not to be analyzed by my intellect, but to be pondered in my heart... Therefore, it is never sufficient simply to have read God's Word. It must penetrate deep within us, dwell in us, like the Holy of Holies in the Sanctuary, so that we do not sin in thought, word or deed." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

So how is it going with our attempts to imitate Jesus (the word in the flesh)? Anything hitting home? Please share for our mutual encouragement that God does speak through His Word.

Griff

One more thought...

As a closing thought to this heaven series, let's read another C.S. Lewis quote.

"If you read history you will find that the Christians who did the most for the present world were precisely those who thought most about the next. It is since Christians have laregly ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this." - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

What will you do with your new understanding?

Griff

One More Question…

One question that we didn’t get to this last weekend was as follows:

How do the things we learn here on earth translate when we enter heaven? Will our knowledge transcend from this life to the next? Do things like technology have a place in heaven?

Again a very thought provoking question. So here are some thoughts.
Since learning is such a huge part of our enjoyment in this life, why wouldn’t it translate into heaven? We have seen that there is a sense of continuity from this life to eternity. Why not the things we have learned in this life, especially when they have to do with the talents and gifts God has given us to honor him?

Colossians 3:23-24 says, “Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly as though you were working for your real master and not merely for humans. You know that your real master will give you an inheritance as your reward. It is Christ, your real master, whom you are serving.” Why wouldn’t the things we have and learned and worked at in this life cease to be honoring to God in heaven?

Like Adam and Eve were given dominion in the garden, scripture ways we will also “reign with God” in heaven. (Rev. 5:10 – one of many examples). In many ways ruling over something means bringing order and structure. Technology and many other things could be involved with that. Why not, especially if they bring glory to God?

Just think about what technology in heaven could look like. If our brains are working at 100% (they say we only use 10% of their capacity now) in conjunction with other brilliant people without any jealousy or rivalry, no competition or secrets; it could be amazing. Wow! The wonders of this world could look like preschool projects in comparison.

Chew on that. What do you think? (I think the Sci-Fi geeks like me love this stuff. Any one want to bring up space travel in heaven? I dare you!)

Griff

Check out this site : http://www.edibek.com/2007/03/13/dubai/

The Weight/Wait Of It All

I listened today as Glen very clearly presented the offer that God has made to us.

I thought about the excuses that many of us make to avoid the issue. Who are we fooling?

Check out 2 Peter 3:9-10 - The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent. But the day of the Lord will come as unexpectedly as a thief.

It’s all been done for us! Romans 6:22-23 - But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

Why do people hesitate? What was the concern that held you back, that might still hold you back?

Let’s discuss it. Some concerns are very legitimate, so put yours (old or present) out there. Maybe it will help someone else.

Griff